12 June, 2007

Kisses and Fist-shaking for the HBO


"You see. No shock. No engulfment. No tearing asunder. What you feared would come like an explosion is like a whisper."
Robert Redford, as Death, describing himself, in the old Twilight Zone.

I know what happens when a nervous Italian-American enters the restaurant bathroom. He gets a gun from behind the toidy and comes out shooting. Just because it went dark doesn't mean it didn't happen. .


"There was nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the lights were on. Object lesson for the more frightened amongst us, in or out of the Twilight Zone."
Rod Serling, closing narration, ibid.

I personally think all four Sopranos were packing and got that assassin before he could do too much damage, though I'm glad this was not filmed.

If you need a big ending I suggest you watch the end of Ronin. Pretend DeNiro is Tony and Jean Reno is Furio, returned just in time to get the last killshot in. I mention Ronin because that was a great movie with a big stupid ending. They just felt they needed to slop in some extra explosions before the denoument.
The Sopranos ending was tight. No one saw it or the lack thereof coming. Sorry about your office pool, but it was better than anything you or even your boss could have written.
Sopranos Finale: + 20 cool points

David Milch, who literally blew my dick away with Deadwood, is apparently now making Magic California Angel Surfers. It is about a magic retarded angel who gives a surfer with a heart of gold superpowers. Why? It is all very, very mysterious.
Other Characters: Junkie (heart of gold), Vietnam Vet (heart of gold), Long-sufferin' wife (heart of gold), etc. Even the character names reveal a lot of "creative writing" -- Butchie, Cissy, Zippy, Vietnam Joe...
I think Deadwood was such a big hassle for Milch he just wanted to make something cheap in his back yard. Then he met windsurfer/poet Kem Nunn, who seemed like a cool guy, and he didn't have the heart to tell him that superpowers and angels are played out like flappy pornstar labia, and the CA surf setting has no dramatic resonance left to give.
This will be a huge embarrassment for Milch. The same people that love angels and mystical shit hate hearing the words "cunt" and "shitbox." This is why they edited all the full-frontal male nudity off "Touched by an Angel."
Magic California Angel Surfers premiere: zero cool points+

(The plus is for Luis Guzman, and someone should step up and give him his own series already.)

1 comment:

Graeme said...

I wish I could anonymously comment on...Loland...harshing my Milch.