I wrote 25 heretofore unheard-of ways to say "penis."

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Only the most fecund mind can make a new footprint here.

• Urethral Hat & Coat
• Me Cockenberries
• Indian name: "The-salmon-who-jumps-through-the-bear"
• Pants Hog (double meaning) (counting it twice)
• Pink Pendulum
• Ladies' Tongue Massager
• Alt Schwach und Schlaff
• Man's Best Dick
• The Bell That Never Rings
• The Vein, Main
• The Rude Tube
• The Grand Gland
• The Meat near my Feet
• A "Freeness"
• Udder of One
  
• Bifurcation-by-the-Balls, NY
• Homosexuality-Proving Instrument #3
• Pale Rider
• Itchy Hormel
• Unvagina
• Ballpeener
• Internet Malware Activation Device
• Old Mundungus
• My Fellas
• Dr. Shrinker
• Prince Albertless
• The Tumescenator
• The Little Man with the Lost Hat