LIE$!

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Things I don't believe, in reverse order of importance.

I don't believe in weeping eggplant of its 'bitter' juices. It is poetic -- salt, bitter tears, and time -- but unnecessary. I used to until an easy experiment. My 'control' eggplant half tasted less salty, but there was no bitterness.

I don't believe in the two party system or even voting. I can't imagine standing in a line for the privilege of choosing between Roger Healey and Howard Borden.

I don't believe Facebook is worth a billion dollars. There are plenty of friendster-clones and there will be plenty more to come, and the thing about the internet is that it is free. You ain't monetizing jack.

I don't believe Halle Berry is black. Too much cream in the coffee. I don't go around telling people I'm Comanche. Angela Bassett would have made a much better Storm because she is black and physical instead of a scrawny pale runway stickwoman. Angela also acts, as opposed to HB's actressing.

Finally and most significantly, I don't believe the instructions on jumper cables. It sucks for girls, because they follow the instructions and then need a man to jump their cars for them. A penis is like a little Prometheus that tells you to see through the safety bullshit.

.Yes and no, Virginia...

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