11 August, 2008

Slogans for Cities in Wisconsin

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Milwaukee
Your town's clock tower is pathetic.

Kenosha
Next three exits!

Slinger
Still callin' margarine oleo.

Egg Harbor
Get your FIBs out!

La Crosse
The city, not the super lame sport.

Wyalusing
Wyalusing is for lovers.

West Salem
Home of Harlin Garland's Home.

Janesville
We got a Mills Fleet Farm and a Blain's Farm and Fleet. Beat that New York City!

Sparta
This is Sparta, WI!!!

Cedarburg
Cedarburg: Where you're the black person!

Spring Green
The Green Apple

Minocqua
If you like rustic, try Minocqua! Everybody works at the mill and we're all using the old twenty dollar bills and drinking malted milk. There's no place to find condoms. Our Blockbuster is mostly tapes. We've still got a problem with drunk Indians on Main Street! It's the Yahtzee on sixes of rustic.

Cudahy
Dress casual!

Racine
Better than, or as good as, Kenosha.

Mazomanie
Home of the ugliest nude beach on the planet. Yikes!

Ashwaubenon
Hi-Class!

West Allis
Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

When I was in high school I thought there was an actual place near Fox Point called "Locke's Point." I couldn't work it into a slogan.
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hayward
Comes up a lot more often than you'd think.

Appleton
Harry Houdini grew up here. Or died here? Anyway, one of the two.

Lake Geneva
Fancy, but not as fancy as we imagine it to be.