I Wrote Some Limericks in a Bad Mood

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Nantucket

There once was a young man named Charles
Who cried as he stood on the gallows
He fell with a thwack
It all went black
And he made a sound like Charo.


There was a man who left his scabies untreated.
It got so gross that he couldn't beat it.
Quoth he "I'm not a looney Lou,
I got these at Harvard U.
Natalie Portman could've had these sweet nits!"


There was a man who feared falling the worst
Because he lived a life so cursed
He slipped when it was raining and pouring
Off the Chrysler Building's dirigible mooring
Onto a pointy-helmeted German tourist


There was my high school girl and wow.
She hasn't lost a step and how.
Her geezer wears mock turtlenecks
And drives a Porsche and they have sex?
(She's renting out her vagina now.)


There was a young lady with a body like a sack
But I think I'll still try to take a crack
If she's got at least one breast
Then she's passed my one test
God's gift to fat chicks is back!


There remains a gal from Nantucket
Who poops in my cock-shaped nuggets
During the ass sex
I read her the classics
As for her one boob, I juggles it


There once was kind of a racist
Who hated the look on their faces,
"I want to kick in
their lazy grins
Right through their Shamrock Shakes."


There was a Limericist whose job was cushy
Though his meter and grammar were mussy
He got as rich as the Buddha
Writing Limericks that were screwed-up
With rhymes as slant as Chinese pussy


There was a woman named Oprah
Who could have run for Pope-rah
But she had to kick G. I. Joe's ass
With a hood/mask
As Commander of the C.O.B.R.A.


I feel better now. God bless Ernesto Limericks!

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