THE FUTURE... OF PORN!

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I have done a serious study of the internet pornography phenomenon while my wife is in Wausau. I ordinarily don't go for it, as I use the history function on my browser all the time, but this cultural review has been eye-opening. Here are my ideas for where porn can go in the next century.

Twins? Just plain blood-related twins having gay sex? Whatever -- that's barely a step up from incest. I'd like to see conjoined twins going at it. What about Double Siamese? Depending on where they were fused, they'd either line up or have to go turnsies.

Seeing a man 'take charge' by grabbing the head of the woman fellating him is all the rage in porn these days. (The feminists have no one to blame but themselves.) In the future, he will grab her by the eye sockets. That's porn!

There should be black guys with gigantic fake dicks. The future is now. The girls are in on the joke and actually smile, for the beginning part at least, before things get hairy.

These 'on the face' pullouts are clumsy, and therefore less romantic. The future of porn is internal money shots using tiny cameras, x-rays, and clear plastic skin on the abdomen. Voila! The romance is back!

Shaved orangutans.

New Rating: NSFHE -- Not safe for your home, either. Don't tell Dateline!

Friends episodes in which the clothing is digitally removed. Schwimmer is removed completely.

Toddler porn, (For showing to toddlers. Nothing dirty, just a lot of bright colors and happy songs. They are addicted to that shit.)

Alien Autopsy Uncensored

"Delivery room" sex scenes, where the baby has to slide out on the penis like a fire pole.

In Search of: Goatse. Why do I want to know his real name? What makes him tick, besides the obvious?

A monkey riding a dog. (On a tiny monkey saddle. Nothing dirty. A smile is like an erection on your face!)

Asians with huge cocks (CGI).

Plant porn (like a tape of Broccoflower getting made).

A guy who is accidentally sent to a woman's prison. (His name is Pat or Terry or Tony or something else gay, and there is a mix-up or clerical error... Who am I kidding? I've written the entire script. Call me, Porn Syndicate!)

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