My TV Show.

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...So I meet this TV producer and I tell him that he should do a show about me and my crazy family. He says he hears that all the time and what would an episode of the show be like? And I say that he could do an episode about me and my wife's crazy sex life. I just got out of prison, and in prison I got the head of my penis bit off. Not the whole way, but mostly, and you can still see every toothmark, like someone had bitten into a block of cheese, and right in the center of the bite is a little red tube and that's my peehole. I also have swastika tattoos all around my dick and butt. I tell the TV producer I was one of the popular guys in prison.
...With half a head, in order to come, I have to really pound on my wife's ass for hours, which is okay because she is very heavily medicated. She can't even talk or feel anything. I have to ram it like a maniac and me, and other guys I guess, have rammed her so much that her asshole is completely distended--her anus can stick out maybe a foot past her butt. Sometimes I lay her down in the fetal position when she is unconscious and stomp on the distended anus with high heels. She doesn't even notice. Her drug problem, that could be an episode too.
...But it's a family show. We've got this adopted son, although I guess adopted is a strong word. We call him Shitpussy and he's a mongoloid, good for beating on and not much else. Except I've broken his jaw so many times that there is scar tissue up and down his mouth and throat, making it super nice and tight.
..."Stop right there!" says the TV producer. "We'll make a few small changes to it and call it The World According to Jim."

And that's how my TV show got made.

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