01 July, 2008

15 Slogans for Drugs

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When Obama legalizes all the drugs the advertisers will need some slogans and copy. I am getting a head start on Madison Avenue.

Witey Crack - If you find fresher, more-high-grade crack, buy it.

Margen-Pfalter Druggists Association - A century of fine German crack.

Golden Farm Ganja - Straight from nature, sun-grown golden dank. Father (opening baggy): "Can you smell the sun, Jessie?" Daughter: "I can daddy. I can!"

Papi G. Black Tar - You looking to get fucked up, esé? Now there's no need to get shot buying the good shit. Don't be a sucka! Ask for Papi G.

Trump Executive Cut Heroin - High rollers know.

Morning Glory Cocaine - The light cocaine, for mornings.

Maxxx Kief - Special Panty-Peeler Blend - Let's get these girls stoned!

Karl of Paris Angel Dust - Time to find your wings!

Jay's Jays - Commercial: An eskimo lady licks a joint wrapper, leaving a lot of brown saliva, and giving the joint to a nervous couple. Later, at a party for pot smokers, the other pot smokers are disgusted by the slimy joint and the couple are embarrassed. Voice-over: Tired of eskimo slime?! Get your self a baggy of Jay's Jays. No eskimos!

Avicenna Pure Indian Morphine - The doctors' choice. "Four out of five doctors who shoot up agree..."

Arthur LSD Drops - Have you ever really seen your hand?

Pennington Row Crack - Oy Guvernor! Just look for the happy crack baby!

Ben Franklin DMT, The N,N Dimethyltryptamine - An infinity of energy patterns that expresses and explains itself with thought streams both visual and logical. "Seriously dude, try Ben Franklin's."
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