20 Critiques of Critique of Pure Reason

Immanuel Kant
après Perèz

Man oh man did I just read a stinker of a book.
Let me kick a little a posteriori.

Reading this book is as interesting as watching an old man think.

Not as funny a book as The False Subtlety of the Four Syllogistic Figures. Which was not even that funny.

800 pages?! You really had something to prove. What, did David Hume nail your high school girlfriend or something?

When I read about time and space, I want to read about some sort of clever villain too, not just the timeliness of time and how spacey space is.

Use of the word 'sensuous' should be reserved for describing titty, not epistemology.

He seemed to be 'phoning it in' when he gets to the part about pure reason as the seat of transcendental illusory appearance. You can tell because it goes from super-boring to so mega-boring you'd need Ludovico lidlocks to keep your glazzies open.

Intuitions without ideas are blind, and ideas without intuitions are empty? Yeah? Tell that to my wife!

"Die Philosophen haben die Welt nur verschieden interpretiert; es kömmt drauf an, sie zu verändern." I won't translate it because it doesn't have umlauts that way.

'Apperception?' I think he made that word up. I think he makes a lot of these words up, except it was so long ago that now dictionaries have these words.

He deconstructs faith to where it can only exist as simple, practical necessity, but he still rigidly believes in God. Well aren't you Practical Pig?

Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable.

Draw out the six Kantian object terms and their relationships and what do you have? A Star of David. I'm just sayin'!

They designed a special 1-legged stool for people who watched dynamite mixing machinery so they wouldn't nod off, not catch the mixer going haywire, and get blowed up. Why not include a stool like this with the book? Maybe a helmet too, just in case.

Hey, Kant, I've got a schema for you. Next time write a book that doesn't stink!

In all fairness, I always keep a copy of Critique of Pure Reason around so if a robber breaks in I can crush his skull, either with the book or by reading him a few selections.

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