27 October, 2011
Psych is the most racist show on television.
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I know because I watch it. (Not enough to know the characters' names.) But there is a black guy and there is a white guy and they are...
14 October, 2011
I wrote some palindromes.
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I am the king of exactly halfway finished palindromes. But here are some palindromes THAT REQUIRE NO EXPLANATION. If I was a wi-fi. ...
02 September, 2011
Things I have written in emails to my boss who doesn't read my emails.
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"Colin Fredricks has yet to return your call. Dana Peale has yet to return your call. When speaking to Dana, remember she has a ...
01 September, 2011
I have not posted in a while and this is a great way to tell you that I now have a son!!!
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HI! I guess most of you know, there's a new Kowpoke in the Kapuchinski Klan Korral! He's so good looking that I think I'm ha...
20 August, 2009
Top 10 Maritime Disaster Songs
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. 1. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot 2. Sultana - Son Volt 3. The Sinking of the Reuben James - The Kingston Trio 4. T...
19 August, 2009
Whatta Kuntstrad!
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29 July, 2009
Stop the Robot Violence!
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15 May, 2009
I made a new word -- Vageinstein!
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. Let's say you were talking about how your new boyfriend is really good in bed, you could say: "He's a real Vageinstein!"...
14 May, 2009
The introduction to my 2002 book: Cinematic Dwarves
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Subtitled: How Chad Lowe and the Black Hand of Elite Hollywood Short Guys Control the Industry. My wife Jane enjoys a few glasses of red...
03 December, 2008
Christmas in Other Countries
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. . In England they call Santa Claus "Mr. John Claus" and he wears a red deerstalker cap and smokes a calabash. Children ar...
14 August, 2008
If I Was Stranded on an Island and Could Only Bring Four Recipes...
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. Coconut Surprise Sandy's Cream of Coconut Soup Seawater Pot Pies Gangrenous Foot Salad .
12 August, 2008
100 Formerly Private Secret Shames of Loland Kapuchinski (redacted version)
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. REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED Cold sores that make policemen ask “Are you alright, sir?” REDACTED Bushy chest hair trimmed so it looks like I...
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